7 Reasons Why You Should Never Get Back With an Ex
So you just went through a break-up. Now before you binge on Drake and have 500 Days of Summer on repeat, take a second to relax. Yes it feels like time has ceased to exist and you’re not sure how you’ll carry on. Well news flash, the world will keep turning and as one door closes another one will open. Believe me it gets better with time. However, one thing you should never do is try to reverse time and live in the past. For those going through heartache or simply miss an old flame here are 7 reasons why you should never get back with an ex.
There’s a Reason Why the Windshield is Bigger Than the Rearview
Sure your ex was funny, sweet, and compassionate at times, but then again those were some of the reason why you were with them in the first place. Now you’re broken up and keep looking back at the past and it’s making you miss out on the present. Look, whatever the reason was for the breakup, the relationship has ran its course. If you continue to look back at the situation and dwell on it, you will be holding yourself back from a bigger and better future. Mr. or Mrs. Right could be around the next corner but your so concerned with the ex that they will become Mr. or Mrs. Never-Were. Basically not being able to get over your ex will be ruin your chances with the next best thing. So stop looking at the review and keep your eyes on the road ahead.
Never Press Rewind Just Let it Play
Trying to relive moments that have long since fleeted, is like trying to tell an improv joke over and over, it’s only good for that one moment. No matter how hard you try it will never be the same. To me life is very much like a movie. Sure there are great parts you are inclined to rewind but that not only ruins the flow of the movie, if you keep rewinding you will never get to finish the movie and that’s where the happy endings are. Don’t deprive yourself from a happy ending just because you want to relive fleeting moments. Get your finger off the rewind button, sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy this movie we call life.
The Small Pet Peeves Turn into Big Turn-offs
When you look back at your ex don’t just look at the times you were happy, remember the times you were upset and annoyed as well. Reflecting on an old flame usually drums up the good memories and suppresses the bad. So if you do make the fatal error of getting back with an ex you will ultimately remember why you broke up in the first place. That’s when the reality hits, then the little things that you passed off as cute become turn-offs, like how they chew with their mouth open, snoring, or how they like to wear regular white socks with dress shoes. These pet peeves will ultimately lead to a break-up which in many cases become worse than the first time. So save yourself the hassle of another breakup and remember the bad when you think of the good.
Great Things Never Come From Comfort Zones
Just like with anything in life you have to learn to get out of your comfort zone. Want to start a business? Get out of your comfort zone. Want to explore new places,? Get out of your comfort zone. Want to meet new people and get into a meaningful relationship? You get the point. Many people live by the phrase “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know,” and they either get stuck on an ex or continuously date people just like their ex. So shake things up. Hang out at new places, go to new restaurants, join a yoga class or co-ed intramural sport, join a book club, basically anything that you aren’t accustomed to doing. This will force you to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Hey you never know the person of your dreams can be your partner in that new cooking class you just signed up for.
It’s Time for the Next Character to Play Their Part
I like to look at life like a play. Everyone plays a part and every part teaches you a lesson. In the case of your ex, they have performed for you and taught you a lesson. Whether good or bad it’s time for them to exit stage right and for you to apply that lesson to the next relationship. If there’s one thing a relationship does, it makes you wiser. If you learn to foster these lessons correctly you will eventually learn what really makes you happy and what you really are looking for. Let’s face it the list of things we looked for in a suitor at 21 like good hair, likes to party, and has a great collection of Jordans are drastically different from the things we look for at 30 like stability, loyalty, and having all their teeth.
A Wound Doesn’t Heal if You Keep Picking at it
Whether you broke up with them or they broke up with you either way it’s a wound you have to let heal. Aside from Neosporin, the only other thing that heals wounds is time. However, if you are constantly back and forth with an old flame that wound will never close. Those that choose to continuously run back to exes are the same type of people that love to pick at scabs. Whether it’s the pain or the unrequited love that makes them masochistic, they will never fully experience true love if their wounds never heal. If you fit this description understand that you need time alone. Eventually you will want to slap your former self for being such a boomerang.
Become the Person You Want to Meet
The time you have immediately after a breakup is a critical. You shouldn’t be moping around a dimly lit house listening to 90’s R&B cuts. Instead do productive things. Things that will not only make you a better person but also make you more attractive to your next suitor. If you want to improve your dating pool you have to learn to swim where your desired suitors swim. Read more, travel more, become more cultured, do things that will create great conversations. You will not only enjoy these things personally so will the next best thing to walk in your life. As the saying goes “Don’t be a person that needs someone, be the person someone needs.”