Where Are The Good Parties?
It’s not like it used to be. I’d be out there on various nights of the week living my life without care. There wasn’t a club or bar in the city that hadn’t felt my presence but when we discuss the scene as of 2017, I’m pretty much “swayze”. Philly nightlife isn’t really that appealing like it once was and again before anybody decides to come with that “things change” nonsense, please know that I am well aware but that still doesn’t excuse the lack of fun to be had. I’ve never EVER been impressed by bottle service except for that one time that an affluent friend of mine bought a few bottles of Dom Perignon at Greenhouse in Manhattan, one of which I proceeded to drink like a corner store Tahitian treat. But the sparklers, sexy bartenders, and the underlying vibe of elitism that seems to permeate through the “popular” entertainment venues in the city do nothing for me which is why I’m more than likely to be anywhere but the club on a Friday or Saturday night. That may be affecting my luck with the honey dips but I have principles AND Wifi so it’s truly whatever.
I used to hang at Fluid, Glam, Mint, Top Hat, Walnut Room, Alfa, Denim aka Whisper aka Coda, Recess, Blue Martini, Silk City Diner, The Barbary, Rain, Fiso’s (surprised that I made it out of that place alive) Fat Tuesdays on South Street and any other goofy establishment that would allow my happy go lucky self to party there. On everything that I hold dear, my friends and I would dress up in our finest threads (shout out to Express and Macy’s for being on Chestnut Street) just to stand in an overly crowded club where the drinks were costly and all of the gorgeous women ignored us. Since I was the shortest out of the bunch, that came with the territory but I’ll discuss that on my upcoming mixtape titled White Women and Mango Incense. We carried on with that routine for YEARS until our lives took us away from our godless habit. Hardly any of the events that I attended were worth the time. I felt like Captain Ahab obsessed with a whale that thrived in other cities except for Philly.
In the 90s, all of the parties looked like they were lit! You had all kinds of music rocking, DJs could actually DJ unlike these “oh I just learned how to play records two days ago but can’t mix for shit” individuals that take up space behind the wheels of steel. Philly is known for excellent DJs but with some of the parties that I’ve hit in recent times, you’d think they all skipped town. And on top of that, where’s the creativity? Every flyer looks the same as well as all of the attendees. I need every party promoter to watch the Limelight documentary about one of the greatest party gods of all time, Peter Gatien, to see how he created magic with all of his clubs (we are still talking about The Tunnel in NYC and it’s been shut down for YEARS!) despite him being hated on by the US government. All that I asking for is a unique party experience that will give me extreme memories instead of a bad case of blue balls. Special shout out to The Saint AND the Trestle Inn for keeping it vintage with the go-go dancers during there ill shindigs.
Philly is too vibrant of the city for the nightlife scene to be as booty as it is. Somebody somewhere do something!!!
